Life is very strange thing. I heard/read somewhere that says "The more I know about life, the less I understand it." I do feel that from time to time. Belief is definitely one of the most puzzling things that life shape in us. It's what makes life in adulthood complicated and sophisticated.

At this stage of life, most of us have our own belief and perspectives on things that we derived from the our experience in live. Some of us fool themselves into having one. Delusional as it is, it's how it is with grown-ups. You and I alike, We have preconceived ideas about many. We quickly stereotype things/people at our own convenience base on our so-call "life experience". However, I have to agree that we are not to blame entirely especially when you are growing up in a society that perpetually echo into your ear that you have to think fast, be critical, and you need to learn to make quick and accurate judgment because the world is moving quickly and changing promptly. Eventually, we're all distorted. We lose sight of what matters in life and only focus at what matter to us. Some want to conform while others prefer to be different. Ironically, now that the world is encouraging us to be original and different, being different would mean you're just conforming to the concept. In the end, it all boils down just one simple powerful word - Belief. As long as you believe you are, then you are, no matter what people say.

The problem with this message is that people takes it too literally that they create a tendency to reject others' belief prematurely. Sometime it become so extensive that we're unable able to compromise with the difference and engage ourselves in aggressively futile debates to convince one another. "Well, that's just life." Well, that's what most people would say. Simplest, quickest and easiest way to reason it. Sometime it's hard to believe, but it's true, the reason is because it's the way it is. Do you believe that? Well, I don't. Even if most of the time it's apparently so.

With everything said, most of the time I still took the more cowardice way out like most of us do. Avoidance. Especially so when I sense the situation is getting hostile. I'm still looking for courage to not only collaboratively compromise my difference in belief with people but also to discuss and debate it. At the moment, it still seems to be a pretty far-fetch attempt. But I believe it'll happen. Somehow...

Which do you hear louder? the your own voice or others'?

For me most of the time it's others'. I don't like it but somehow I have a very tendency to think about what would people think of me and the things I do. Will they like it? will they hate it? will they find it annoying? And that consideration influence my action and behavior tremendously.Why does that matter to me all of a sudden? First of all, it's not all of a sudden, but it's just that lately I came to realize that the influence is stronger than I thought.

I've always thought that I'm the type of person who always know what I want in life but I come to doubt that recently. After some sharing with some peers at work, I became quite puzzled. Some people tell  me good income is the key to being happy. Some people say career satisfaction is the key not pay. Some people it's neither, it's whether the job can benefit and value-add to your career goal, which in turn, it'll result in the achievement of both job satisfaction and monetary desire. The third also implies that you'll achieve neither if you approaches things wrongly. However, what bugs me is not these difference in opinions it's how they constantly judging people who're doing thing differently. For instance, for those , who didn't do that well in academic and end up with a good start-off job, would look to their highly-academically qualified friends with a very egoistic sense of victory. On the other hand, they also being judged as materialistic and myopic. Either way, neither of the side know what each other is really thinking. All they are doing is making assumption about each other to make them feel better about themselves.

They say human nature is selfish. This truly reflects very clearly through our opinions. If you observe carefully, you would be able to see the fact that people always tend to think that other people is in a way similar to themselves if not the same. When we're smart, we automatically treat people around us as if nobody is really that stupid. When you live in an environment where everyone is well-off, the next person you know, you would assume that they at least well off as well. When you spend a lot, people think you're rich. When you save a lot, people think you're stingy. When you plan, people say you think too much. When you don't plan, people say you live on impulse. We are basically stereotyping everything about each other. Why? Because it's a very quick and convenient way to form an image of a person in our head. The problem with that is that image is very influential towards our behavior toward that person. The best part is we know this is happening and why. The real mystery is the fact that we still succumb to it.

The fact really sadden me. It's a big reminder to why we have lesser and lesser friends as we grow older. When older, we're are less susceptible to influence and change. And we know that about each other, so we choose stay away from people with conflicting interest/opinion/goal/etc.... This is probably one of the damn wonderful things about childhood, we just don't care and don't give a damn about all these and laugh everything off.

Seeing Me & Orson Welles makes me feel that opinions can be really objective. And that is scary. Can you imagine person is giving you his opinion which is not really his opinion? Precisely, it's like lying to you. But the only difference is that it's the truth. His opinion towards you changes depending on how much you benefit/profit him. Again that can be your very powerful weapon if you can master it. You're no longer prejudice towards people since your opinions no longer matter to you. The only thing that matters is what can you make out it.

But seriously, I really don't see the point in becoming like that. Can't imagine having to constantly looking at things from a third-person point of view.

Me & Orson Welles is definitely Zack Efron's best. I don't really like him as an actor but after seeing this movie, I kind of do now. One of the reason that I find this movie so good is probably because I was watching at the right moment. It has what I wanted to see at that moment. Love, Life, Luck. It's realistic. It's artistic. And definitely classic.

Me & Orson Welles perfectly exemplifies a situation a young man would face at one point of his life.  A situation in life where we are young and ambitious, and we feel that everything is going for us. So we try to grab everything we can. We grab so much until more than we can hold. And *snap* just like that everything falls apart. Fame, glory, money, romance. All gone right before our very greedy eyes. And the worse part is you feel like you lose everything when nothing was really yours in the first place. You just go back to where you started. Nothing. And that's beauty of life. It doesn't end just there. You start all over again. This time with the knowledge and experience of what had happened.

Lastly, after seeing the movie, it really makes me come to appreciate the title a lot. It says Me & Orson Welles and not Me & Him or Richard & Orson Welles. Me would be Richard and he would be Orson Welles but Orson Welles is not necessarily has to be him. It's a just a brand the man wear and project. If anything we can learn from this, it would be the good old cliche "It's nothing personal my friend, it's just business." Don't get personal and emotional... unless it gives you profit.

After like 4 years or so, I'm finally going to get to use a desktop again. I'm planning to build my own customize ddesktop when next academic semester begins. Now I'm in the period of studying the best rigs for my budget. It'll tough trying to squeeze my demand for performance into a 1K budget.

Let's see my current choice of components are:

CPU
Choice 1: Phenom IIX4 955

Mobo
Choice 1: Asus 4A785D-M-PRO
Price: S$ 396 (Combo price with CPU)

Choice 2: Asus 4A78L-M
Price: S$ 372 (Combo price with CPU)

RAM
Choice 1: CORSAIR TW3X4G-1600C9D Dominator (4GB=2x2GB)
Price: $S 219

Choice 2: CORSAIR CMX4GX3M2A-1600C9 (4GB=2x2GB)
Price: $S 199

GPU
Choice 1: ASUS ATI EAH5770 CuCore 1GB (GDDR5)
Price: S$ 279

Choice 2: MSI ATI HD 5770 1GB Hawk Twin FrozerII (GDDR5)
Price: S$ 269

HDD
Choice 1: Seagate 1TB 7200.12/2-platter/low power/Faster
Price: S$ 119

Choice 2: Seagate 500GB 7200.12 / 16MB
Price: S$ 74

DVD Drive
Choice 1: HP 24X LightScribe SATA SuperMulti
Price: S$ 43

PSU
Choice 1: CORSAIR HX750 (750W) / 7yrs
Price: S$ 249

Choice 2: OCZ ModXStream-Pro (Modular) 700W
Price: S$ 185

Choice 3: PCPower & Cooling 750W : $188 / 750W
Price: S$ 188

Choice 4: CrossfireOCZ ModXStream-Pro (Modular) 600W
Price: S$ 139

Chasis
Choice 1: CoolerMaster Elite nVidia 334
Price:  S$ 89

Conclusion

Let's see, if I go for all my first choice components it would cost me S$ 1394. Crazy! Over budget by 400. What if all my last choice. S$ 1185... still over budget by almost 200.  I think I seriously need to reconsider my budget.. or my components of choice. But I've been using PC for so long and I haven't for once tasted a very powerful PC to suit my usage. For the first time, I really want to have that since I'm planning to have this for a long time. If you have cash, can go for this rigs, guarantee extreme performance.

I've tried to experience and understand many things in life. People doing weird and stupid things I can still understand why. But people who like Twilight New Moon, that is definitely one of things I don't understand. How can any body like this movie? Sorry but I have to admit that I'm one of the haters. If the books are as nice as it's rumored, the movies really mess it up for the books big time.

I don't get the whole thing from beginning to the end. The awkward romance, the incredibly thick makeup, the weird birthday tragedy, the unconvincing break-up, and the bunch of buff guys in Bermudas and running shoes walking around looking like idiots. None of these makes any sense.

But again, if you haven't watched don't be discourage by my comments because I have friends who really love this movie. So you can still check it out, maybe you have the same taste as my friends, which I don't know what kind of taste is that.

I don't get why we can't trust each other and give each other a chance eventhough we're all human. Most of us, you and me alike, tend to instinctively judge people and make assumption about different people we barely know. As adult, we even worse than kids, we are so over-confident about our life experience that we believe we can see through and understand people just through observation. How can we truly understand each other, while we continuously rejecting one another.

I don't get it. I don't get why we put extra unnecessary stress and pressure on ourselves when we already have too much from society? And the best part is we deny it. We say "I lived a happy and satisfied life".... "yeah I can see that.... it's written all over your face." Seriously, how can you say you lived a happy and satisfied life when you expression look worse than that cat?

I remembered  when I was a kid, everyone, including myself, wants to quickly grow up. And as we grow up, some people start finding their own way and some start to lose it. For those who found it, we put heart, effort and time to reach our desired destination. As for those those who lose it, they put heart, effort and time to find it. At certain point in the future, we all came back for reunion. During the reunion, we realize we are no longer the same. We are all at different stage of life and state of mind. Some of us seem to be having a very bright future prospect. Some of us seem just happy to be doing what they're doing. A few of us gain some extra self esteem. A few others are getting more irritating than ever. Then there were some of us were just silent amidst the chattering. Some smile grimly. After the reunion, a few of us became closer and still keep in touch but most of never meet again. But what nobody really knows is when did all these differences start to happen to each of us.

See, even as I'm writing this nonsense I know most likely nobody else other than myself going to read it, I still racking my brain furiously for the right things and words to put it across. Why's that? Honestly, because I feel responsible for what I'm writing and partly, I want to put as undeniable as possible. So if in the worst case scenario, there's one really damn bored person drop by and read this really boring entry, he/she would agree with me or if he/she question, I wouldn't be too badly shot at. But why do I care if what people think about what I wrote? I don't know, because I respect their opinions. "Why?" Why the hell you keep asking me why.... isn't respecting other's opinion is a morale thing to do?

From that lame discussion with myself alone, I already can see many constraints we acquired onto ourselves as we grow up. From where? School teaching, parent teaching, friend's sharing, experience...blah blah and blah. But as to why we oblige to these constraints, I don't know... I guess different people would have different reasons. Take my favorite fairy tale for example. Study hard and you'll succeed. I believe in this fairy tale even until teenage age. That's one damn good fairy tale. We heard this tale more often than any other to the point that we have come to term that it's not an option to not do well in study if you want to succeed. First of all, it's not even a guaranteed that if you study hard you would do well in study.

Some says "no, that's because you haven't studied hard enough"
"Ehhh!? Hard enough but the fairy only say study hard wat."
Some says "It's a fairy tale don't interpret it so literally. The term study hard is relative. Depending on your intelligence, you need to determine how hard you need to study."
"huuuhh?? wat..? So you mean if I study hard, I also won't succeed?"
Some says "No! that's not what I meant. Aiya! don't think too much just go study."

I haven't questioned the fairy tale till one fine day when I suddenly realize sth very shocking. I don't know anybody who study hard and succeed. On the contrary, I know quite a number who didn't study hard and succeed. Then when I share it I got immediately shot with a very expected question:

"how do you know they succeed?"
"Because they're super rich."
"Success is not defined by wealth!"
"Then what is success."
"Success is how happy and satisfied you're with your life and how much you've achieve with your life."
"Eh? like that means study hard doesn't make me succeed wat.. you see.. when I study hard, I'm stressed. When I'm stressed I'm not happy and not satisfied because I cant eat properly and don't enjoy anything."
"No! That's not what I meant. Aiya! don't think too much just go study."

Why does the conversation always end up like this? Anyway, back to what I was saying. What I am trying to pull out from this example is the fact that a lot of these constraints that we put on ourselves before we say/act sometime are justifiable. There's no reason for us to feel inferior of people doing better than us in study. There's no reason for us not to share out note and teach our lousier friends. And it's absolutely not logical for us to worry and burn our brain to thinking about how bad we performed in exam and what are all the bad consequences are going to follow through. In fact, if we have so much time to worry about all these things, we could use this time to go have fun and find alternatives to the various consequences that we think are going to come by. As simple as that.

Shit! I think I over crapped.... okay to be continued....

I don't get it, why some of us are so ignorant about things that are affecting them and their lives? Better still, they are even ignorant about their ignorance.

I think the saying "Ignorance is a bliss" really gets people going the wrong way, especially when they interpret it literally. Living in an environment full of people different from nationalities, culture and background allows me to observe variety of different type of ignorance. Wait different type of ignorance? Yes. Some people are ignorant about others' feeling and emotions, some people are ignorant about society, some people are ignorant about things that matters to them, some are ignorant, and some are just ignorant about every damn thing.

You know the "politically correct" adults always tell younger generation that it's not good to negatively stereotype people. But the stereotype never stop, why? because these very adult only tells us not to stereotype people but never once tell us not to live up with up with our stereotype. It's difficult for the world not to stereotype (from here on, stereotype would be referred to the negative ones unless mentioned otherwise) a group of people when every damn person from that group is thinking/acting/behaving exactly as the previous ones we know. And why am I suddenly talking about stereotype? Because I think ignorance is one of the biggest factors that snowball this stereotype bazaar.

We often unconsciously assuming that certain things we do or say is normal because everybody around us is doing exactly the same damn thing. We have no idea how different people from different culture and background view or think of the things we do or the way we behave. Frankly speaking, we just don't care. For goodness sake, they're just freaking tourists. That's exactly what they think of us when we are going on holiday in their land. We have never really stop and think that this tourist also talked to the other tourists and eventually when he went back to his country, he would also tell his people. And in this digital age, their opinions spread at speed of light. But again, I think there really not point ranting about this because there's no stopping it. What I'm more irritated with is the people who are ignorant about things around that's constantly affecting and influencing their lives. You know what our problem is? Our problem is that we think that we survive till now without knowing or caring about all these craps so why should we even bother to start caring. I didn't start reading newspaper till I was 20, and I'm still alive and happy. In fact I think I was happier when I wasn't reading the paper. There were less unnecessary tragedy bother my life that I couldn't do anything about it, or at least I thought so. Some of my "good-boy" friends said they don't play game or watch movies or anime or doing any of these wasting time activities their whole and they're still having fun by doing math problem and reading physics textbook.

However, what we don't know and hardly consider is what difference would it makes if we were to be less ignorant about it. Most of the time we only realize and change when we meet the right friends who enlighten, encourage and show us what difference would it make to care. Nevertheless, I still don't get it as to why do we just sit down and wait for that right influence to come and change us instead of dragging our own ass to seek the enlightenment? Are we afraid that we would know too much and nobody would want to hang around with? Maybe. I don't know. Nature really has a way of make us being able to observe the mystery but not being able to unfold it, at least not with a singly defined answer. Mysterious indeed.

Here comes my new topic category - iDontGetIt. Lately, I don't know why I started to notice many things I don't get about us people. Maybe I slack my brain too much till it tries to look for sth to think about. So I thought it would be interesting to write them down here for future reference...

So what is the first thing that I don't get? I don't get why some people tell me certain things are overrated when they've never even use it before. On what basis that they can so outrightly claim that it's overrated? Because most of the online reviews say so? or their friends say so? or just simply because they tried their friends' ones and they don't like it as it claimed they would? No idea but whatever it is, I personally think that unless you own one before you're not really qualified to claim that it's overrated.

I started to wonder about this when I was getting opinions from people on whether I should save up for Android, iPhone or Blackberry? And guess what, I have people producing absolute claim for every one of those model.

My friends who use Android said iPhone is just a trend and there are many thing iPhone couldn't do compared to Android especially in term of customization and personalization. They also say everybody is getting an iPhone because everybody else was doing it. When asked about BlackerBerry? They were like "BlackBerry is not even in the equation here. BlackBerry is for working people. There's nothing much there."

On the other hand, some of my iPhone peeps says Android is overrated and iPhone is the only phone you should consider going for. iPhone can do anything you want to do. It can do anything Android can do and more. That's one very very big and dangerous claim they were making there. And yeah again they also agree with my Adroid friends that BlackBerry is not to be compared with the 2.

So what do my BlackBerry friends has to say? They say no... BlackBerry can do a lot of things, at least more than enough for you to not want to upgrade to either iPhone or Android. BlackBerry can go online, can surf Internet, can do email, can use google app, can use google map, and they also have games and entertainment stuff. So why would u need iPhone and Android? Then I said, "I don't know. Because they look cooler and more sleek?".... "No, they're big. You see the later model of BlackBerry. Their designs are also cool and on top of that, they're more handy.".... then I went..." but I think the buttons are too small. My fingers are fat so it won't easy for me to press".... then they were like "No la. After a while you'll get used to it. The iPhone/Adroid on-screen key pad is even harder to press."

After all that, I think I'm back at square one. Which one to get? But the more disturbing question now is why are these people make so absolute claim about each of these brands when they haven't even had extensive experience using the other brand, nor do they have any idea what features I need/prefer, what design I like, and what I other things I can or cannot tolerate about these gadgets. They suddenly appear to me like an unpaid salesmen but again even salesmen leave some room for you to consider your other choices.

So there you go. I don't get it. Why are we being so judgmental about things/people that we don't really know?

My personal answer at the moment would be because we think we know even when we don't.

The past 2 weeks have been a hell of a week. One event after another. Four events running in the a row. It started on Saturday 20 Mar with my company Dragonboat competition. I had to wake up at 6:15 am on Saturday morning! -__- After getting ready we grabbed a cab to the event venue, Lower Seletar Reservoir Park.

It was raining almost throughout the whole event. So we had to race in the rain. A lot of ppl found it suck to rain but I thought it was quite fun to get to row Dragonboat in the rain. I really miss basking in rain. It reminds me of childhood. Anyway, my team had 2 races. 1st race we came last and 2nd last for the 2nd race.  -__- But at least our timing is not the last among all the boats (there 8o+ boats and 7 boats each race). There were many boats that have much worse timing than us. :P After the race, it was time to feast!! We went to grab our free lunch, popcorn, ice cream, and ice milo. *yummy* Then after the feast, we went to join everybody to set record in having most number of people doing the papaya dance. I think I'm really lucky. This is the 2nd time I get to be involved in setting world record. My first was during JC time, which we set a record for the largest mass yoga. And I'm going to be involved in the my 3rd one in the coming weekend. XD

After the Dragonboat event at about 2 pm, I took a cab to go for my 5-day CEP seminar at NACLI. By the way, CEP stands for Culture and Education Programme.  According to the booklet, CEP is an innovative and integral part of the concept of the Youth Olympic Games. SYOG provides all participants with a memorable programme that combines sport competition with a large and diverse range of CEP activities. I volunteered for this mainly because I want  to play a role and contribute to the upcoming YOG and also to get to meet the young athletes from my country and assist them in anyway possible during their stay here. On top of that, I wanna try something new and this is a rare chance to do so.

The seminar was fun and tiring but for the most part, I was too tired to enjoy it. For instance, take the dinner at the 5-star hostel with all the CdM from various country. I was supposed to be all hyped up about being in a room full of representatives from almost 200 countries (supposed to be 205 if all of them were there) and having a 5-star dinner with all of them but strangely, I didn't really feel that excited. I don't know if it's because this is my don't-know-how-many-time attending this kind of thing or I just don't like this kind of very formal and proper atmosphere. Despite all that, I still think it's very worthwhile to be there. I had many takeaways to talk about and share with my peers. I got a lot of free stuffs, which are not really that useful but still it's free stuffs. I got to eat free food for 5 days even though most of the time, the food are pretty awful. I got to sleep in hotel-like room, eventhough it was freezing cold. I got to meet many important people and take photographs with them, even though I don't really know why I should be proud of that since after all, they are also human just like any of us... in fact, they are not even that pretty or handsome like celebrities. So why the heck is all hype and buzz? I have no idea.

After all that, I'm just glad that I can come back to work and sit in my comfortable chair chit chatting with colleagues and fellow interns. Tomorrow, I will be going to for the Singapore Run Around with old friends and I'm looking forward to that. It will my last hurdle for the crazy 2 weeks then I will take it slow for awhile before chionging for more nonsense things. Cheers!!!

I used to play badminton very often during JC time but after graduating from A level I stopped playing for quite a long while. I resume badminton fully in year 2. Anyway, below is the racket that I used and is using.

My first racket: Wilson Dynasmash 500

If I remember correctly I got this on promotion for S$69 . This is my first racket when I was really into badminton. That time I had no idea whatsoever how to choose racket. I didn't even know how to play in first place. So yes I simply bought this because my friends said it's decent and it was one of the cheaper ones in row. Dynasmash 500 is definitely good for smash. You can really feel the power in your smash, if you know how to smash that is. :P But for other aspects, not so good. My main problem with this racket is hitting a high back court shot and picking up a drop shot. The control and power is just not really there. Hence, it's not so easy to use for beginner but again when you're beginner, you can't really tell what's the difference also. As long as can hit and it's light then it's a good racket. But when you know to play, you'd start to see all these problems.

My Second Racket: Yonex NanoSpeed 800

I l♥ve my 2nd racket. I got it for S$89. Decent price for a Yonex Nanospeed series. I did quite  a bit of research before buying to make sure this time I get the right racket for my playing style and I did! XD This racket gives me a lot more control than the first. Hence, I can play more variety of shot instead of just trying to smash my way through. The con is that I have to sacrifice the smashing power and speed but in return, I have more control over my smash. I can now smash to the left or right side line almost at will. It feels good to be in control. (^.^) For net play, nanospeed 800 is awesome too. So in a way, it's a very balanced build racket, which is very well suited for player like me who's not very sure what I'm good at doing but just wanting to be able to do everything reasonably well.

Whoo.. finally I'm back. It's been a tiring 5 days at the seminar. Very tiring indeed. I have so much to write about so I shall start with the most overdue post.

In this post, I thought of listing the items in my wish list that I managed to own so far and those that I'm still saving up for. So here it goes.

My MP3 Player: iPod Nano 3rd Generation

For so long I've been wanting to own one of the Apple product and finally I got one. I bought this at a very good deal. The guy who sold it to me won it from lucky draw and he already has an iPod Touch. So he sold it away at S$150. That time the original price was still S$240+. However, now feel like selling it away and getting the 5th Gen. XD

Apple iPod is definitely an mp3 to go for sound quality, style and design.

My Phone: Sony Ericsson W980

Bought this one because the old one spoil so no choice. I didn't like it that much but it was the best deal I found in the forum. The seller signed plan and didn't want the phone since he's already using the smart phone. So he was willing to let it go cheap cheap and thus, I bought it to make use for the time being till have enough spare fund to get Android and iPhone.

W980 is definitely not recommended. Other than the sleek design and the 8GB built-in memory, which I didn't really use since I had my iPod, there's not many value-added points. It may not look like it in photo but the quality of manufactured material is not good and when scratches on surface it's very obvious. So for a rather careless user like me, this phone get old very fast.

My Hand-held Console: PSP 2006 Slim & Lite

This is one of the best deal I got too. It was only 2 month old when I bought it. The guy sold me at $150 when the original price was still S$360+. I got it for less than half price!!! XD On top of that, he gave me 4 original UMD games!! I didn't play UMD those since I have all of the game in iso file already. Finally, after a long time of daydreaming, I own one. I gave it only 3 stars because I'm not crazy over it like I thought I would. The buttons are hard to press which makes the whole gaming experience drop significantly for me. And after playing the console for sometime, I realize that I'm really a big screen person. I need at least a 22" screen to play my game and I couldn't care if it's portable or not.

My Storage: Seagate 3.5" 1TB & Western Digital 2.5" 320GB

Now, I have two 1 TB and one 320 GB. I use it more like a thumbdrive. And the 1TB is obviously for hardcore storage purpose. XD So far so good, they can still keep up for quite some time. I don't think I will need to a new one any time in the next 1 or 2 years.

My Camera: Cannon Digital IXUS 80IS

This camera is probably the oldest among all my 2nd hand gadgets. It's about 1 year old when I bought. But still almost as good as new because it was hardly used by the original user after he owned a DSLR. I got it for S$200 during the time when the original price was till around S$350+. Not really a fantastic deal for a 1 year old camera but what it make it fantastic was that the guy threw in extra 1 GB memory card and 2 spare lithium batteries!!! Each spare batteries can easily cost up to 60 bucks.

This is probably the last non-pro digital camera I'd get. If I ever go for a camera upgrade, I would for sure get a semi-pro or a DSLR. This just doesn't give a good enough picture quality.

First of all, my stand on the whole truth issue would be "Everybody is a liar when they say they only tell the truth and everybody is hypocrite when they say they only want to know the truth."

So which one are you? the one who only tell the truth or the one who only wants to hear to truth? I hope the answer is neither. Anyway, I'd like to categorize people into different categories of truth listeners. (1) Some of us only want to hear the truth that they want to hear (I hope that does make sense). (2) Some of us only want to hear the truth that we can handle. (3) A few of us simply want the truth. Bear in mind that all of these are said from an observant point of view because I believe that if asked, almost everybody would, without hesitation, answer that they simply want to know truth no matter what. So to me it's not what they say or think they are that matters. It's how they react and respond to the truth that being told to them. For example, if you react angrily and respond violently to certain news or thing, I don't think anybody would want to tell you about it.

In my life thus far, I think most of the people that I've met and known belong to the first 2 categories. Those who belong to the first categories unconsciously are mainly those of lower education level and minimal life experience. A for those who're conscious about it, I believe they chose to be that way. Why? I think they just find it happier that way. Most of my closer peers are in the 2nd categories. Hence, needless to say that's where I am. But to what extent can we handle different type of truth? Honestly, I think that's very much depends on what each of us as individual went through and learned in our lives. For instance, my friend who's very knowledgeable would most likely be able to accept a greater truth of knowledge whereas I, who came from a society where death and violent is a daily routine, would most likely be able to handle more emotional truth. I remembered when a friend of mine told me he could play chess blindfolded. I was like there no way in hell anybody could do that, at least not anyone of my age. I was skeptical and cynical. So I denied the truth. Of course, the reasons to that is a no-brainer. It's because I don't believe/think it's possible. I haven't seen anybody does that before. I think he's just bluffing to show off. etc. etc.

What then? Prove it. And when he did, that's when the real test comes. Whether I can handle the truth or not? Some people , like me, would simply go "Wow!, that's awesome!" That was simply because I'm not chess player and has no interest in chess whatsoever. So to me, this is pretty much a cool magic. But imagine, if I were a chess player who spend my life playing chess and never for once the possibility of this has ever occurred to me and suddenly I meet this guy. There could be 2 outcomes. Either I'll be enlightened or devastated. If you actually amplify, this simple brainless scenario many times and bring the scenario to things like political truth, conspiracy theory, environment, super power, outer space, science... you name it. There is simply no room for us to be able to handle or accept them all. Most of the time we're just so confused that we don't even know it. Hence, we simply choose to believe what we think is true or who we think is telling the truth. This is where the whole world is thrown to chaos just because there simply cannot be a universal truth for everything. They are very much accepted under perspectives. Therefore, knowing, believing, and accepting knowledge and truth has become a test of faith, self-judgment, and resilience. And knowing has a snowball effect, the more you know, the more you will know. Finally, it will come to point where you find yourself knowing too much to tell. This is where I have a hypothesis that the more truth we know the higher tendency we have to lie. Most of the time, it's not because we don't want to tell. It's either just because we simply can't tell or we don't think the person is ready for it or we don't feel like telling or etc...

I think the best book that exemplifies the whole truth issue is Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol. But again I don't read that many books, so I guess this the best among the few that I read. According to the book, the things that blind us from the seeing the truth is not just our ignorance and arrogance but also our knowledge and experience as well. Ignorance can be enlightened but knowledge is very difficult to be unlearned especially when one has already have complete faith and belief in his/her knowledge. Most of the time, the truth that a knowledgeable person find it hardest to accept would be the ones that he/she can prove and argue otherwise. The problem with that is we often try to prove/argue sth's wrong base on what we know and what we've experienced. Needless to say, there's obviously a limitation to that. Nevertheless, we tend to be blinded by our confidence and faith in our knowledge that it prevents us from being to able to fathom greater knowledge. If there is anything we learn from history that would be the advancement of mankind is very much credited a small group of individuals who faithfully believe in the impossible truth.

Ironically, for me, 1 of the most truthful things a person ever said is "I lied."

Before I start ranting....

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR
&
VALENTINE'S DAY PEOPLE!

It feels so long since I posted sth about myself on this blog. It seems like everyday just get shorter as u get older. That makes me sound like I'm damn old. lol But seriously, it's true. Apparently, it seems like the older we grow, the more we see the importance and significance of different people who walked in and out of our lives. Hence, every precious free time we have, we tend to want to spend with them and cherish every moment. And that's precisely why no time for blogging, gaming, and every other things that we used to be able to spend so much time on during childhood. Sad? Yes and No. It gives us a completely different feeling and experience so it's not really comparable. It'll be best if we can have the best of everything. (suddenly think of Miley Cyrus - Best of Both World).

Anyway, let's go to CNY and V day part. Before going off for CNY holiday, me and my colleagues/friends had a sport cum Chinatown outing on Friday. It was a day full of mixed emotion. It was a lot of fun, stress, sadness and worries. I worked, I ate, I chit-chat, I played sport, I went out, I panicked then I stayed over. Friday, 12 Feb 2010, I'm going to remember this date. Overall, I'd still say it's a very fun day despite the fact that I lost my phone and wallet. Better still was that I learned sth through the whole experience. Never change to different court half way during ur play and never let your friend give you a lift, and take MRT instead...LOL just kidding. Through this, I learned that I need people around me more than I think I do. I also learned that every little good deeds that each of us accumulate would not go to waste. It'll be returned to us in one way or another. Be it meeting nice people, knowing good friends, or being helped by very nice strangers. Most of the time, we'd just give the credit to luck and fate for all these things. But personally, I do believe that what we do to everybody everyday does influence the luck and fate that we have with people.

And that was the pre-CNY celebration. What about the days itself? It sucks. And by falling Valentine's day, it makes it double suck. Now, there's tight slap on my consciousness saying "you don't have family and you're single." Ouch... A "lonely unloved orphan" can almost perfectly describe my situation. Okay maybe I kinda dramatize that a little a bit (to get some sympathy). Teehee! :P  I do have family, it's just that I'm unable to be with them where they are right now.. thanks to all the people who decided to travel at the same damn time on the same airline. .\    /. But again this is the only time they can travel and it's the only airline they can take. hmm... then who to blame? Never mind forget it. Joking asides, CNY never fail to remind me of how much I need my family. Being away from them for close to 8 years, I may have become ignorant and think that I'm independent enough. But what I tend to overlook is the fact that providing support is not just only thing family do but they also provides a medium for each of us to share our joy and happiness, especially during occasions like this. And that is definitely not sth we can grow independent of.

Finally, I hope everyone out there is having a great Chinese New Year and a sweet Valentine's day. With that, ciao.